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Healthy smiles

There are two ways of getting a healthy smile on your face:

  1. By brushing your teeth after every meal rather than only twice a day. (Only dogs never brush their teeth. Are you a dog?)

    You can buy toothbrushes and toothpaste from us. The expression 'Her teeth are Rishton bright' has become proverbial. Even London politicians could smile much more convincingly if they bought their toothpaste in Rishton. Rishton is worth travelling to. (Click here for travel information.)
  2. By having something to laugh about. Rishton Pharmacy can help you even there (and you can help us and become famous into the bargain).

We will publish jokes and funny stories about chemists, doctors, nurses, hospitals, patients on this page, starting with one we heard recently.

Some people say the NHS is nothing but a joke, but that, surely, is slander. So we are not going to repeat it here.

If you have any good medical joke, post or email it to us. We will publish two of the best jokes received every month in this spot, together with the name of the sender.

So send us something to laugh about, and brighten the lives of your fellow Rishtonians.

Stories

The eye twitch

John, who lives in Commercial Street in Rishton, is taking his dog for a walk along the canal. He bumps into his old mate Paddy from Padiham.

'Hiya, Paddy, how are you. What a surprise! I haven't seen you for ages. What are you doing here so far away from home? You want to drown yourself in the canal? What's wrong with your eye? Why do you keep winking at me.'

'I am not winking at you, I just have this terrible twitch in my right eye. It started a few days ago and I do not know how to stop it.'

John: 'I know that one. I had the same problem a few years ago. The doctor prescribed Metostantisin (???) and that fixed it within a few hours. Go to your chemist and buy a box of Metostantisin tablets. I'll come tomorrow to see how it has worked.

Next morning John shows up in Paddy's house - in Padiham. 'Jesus,' he says, 'you are still twitching. Go straight away and take another pill.'

John opens Paddy's medicine cabinet and a dozen packs of condomes are falling out.

'You idiot, I didn't tell you to buy condoms, I told you to buy Metostantisin.'

'I tried. In a dozen chemists. But if you have a twitch like mine, how on earth do you convince a pretty female chemist that it is really Metostantisin you want to buy?'

Bhupéndra says:

The only chemist Paddy did not go to was Rishton Pharmacy. That's what he should have done. Straight away.

If you want condoms, you don't have to wink at our staff. You get them discreetly and without any fuss or you take them off our self-service shelves.

We also supply the 'morning after' pill, in full confidence.

And we sell pregnancy testing kits.

And throw-away nappies.

And baby food

and ...

(and throw-away babies, a.k.a. dolls)

If you really need Metostantisin (check name???), we can obtain it for you overnight.

Aspirin

old fashioned aspirin bottle  

Last night Bernie from Burnley came into Rishton Pharmacy with a raging headache. He gets all his medicines there because it is so convenient to stop on his way back from work in Blackburn.

'Hi, Bhupéndra,' he says to his old friend, the Rishton Pharmacist. No problem with the name.

'I'd like a packet of acetylsalicylic acid'.

'You mean aspirin?' says Bhupéndra.

'Yes, of course,' says Bernie with a sigh of relief. 'How silly of me! I keep forgetting that stupid word.'

Bhupéndra says:

At Rishton Pharmacy, we understand even educated people, especially if their intelligence makes their heads ache. I have the same problem.

If you pass through Rishton on your way to work (and when you return from work with a headache), it is convenient to stop here. We don't sell poison for your boss, but we will find a suitable painkiller for you (aspirin, paracetamol ... /list more products here???/ and others) even if you do not know the correct name.

You can have a glass of water and a friendly smile on the house, and probably you will feel better within minutes.

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