There are two ways of getting a healthy smile on your face:
We will publish jokes and funny stories about chemists, doctors, nurses, hospitals, patients on this page, starting with one we heard recently.
Some people say the NHS is nothing but a joke, but that, surely, is slander. So we are not going to repeat it here.
If you have any good medical joke, post or email it to us. We will publish two of the best jokes received every month in this spot, together with the name of the sender.
So send us something to laugh about, and brighten the lives of your fellow Rishtonians.
The eye twitch
John, who lives in Commercial Street in Rishton, is taking his dog for a walk along the canal. He bumps into his old mate Paddy from Padiham.
'Hiya, Paddy, how are you. What a surprise! I haven't seen you for ages. What are you doing here so far away from home? You want to drown yourself in the canal? What's wrong with your eye? Why do you keep winking at me.'
'I am not winking at you, I just have this terrible twitch in my right eye. It started a few days ago and I do not know how to stop it.'
John: 'I know that one. I had the same problem a few years ago. The doctor prescribed Metostantisin (???) and that fixed it within a few hours. Go to your chemist and buy a box of Metostantisin tablets. I'll come tomorrow to see how it has worked.
Next morning John shows up in Paddy's house - in Padiham. 'Jesus,' he says, 'you are still twitching. Go straight away and take another pill.'
John opens Paddy's medicine cabinet and a dozen packs of condomes are falling out.
'You idiot, I didn't tell you to buy condoms, I told you to buy Metostantisin.'
'I tried. In a dozen chemists. But if you have a twitch like mine, how on earth do you convince a pretty female chemist that it is really Metostantisin you want to buy?'
Last night Bernie from Burnley came into Rishton Pharmacy with a raging headache. He gets all his medicines there because it is so convenient to stop on his way back from work in Blackburn.
'Hi, Bhupéndra,' he says to his old friend, the Rishton Pharmacist. No problem with the name.
'I'd like a packet of acetylsalicylic acid'.
'You mean aspirin?' says Bhupéndra.
'Yes, of course,' says Bernie with a sigh of relief. 'How silly of me! I keep forgetting that stupid word.'